


Vines, Demon Style

by lmaoihatemyself



Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Crack, Everyone Low-key Depressed tho, Gen, Vines
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:54:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27869498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lmaoihatemyself/pseuds/lmaoihatemyself
Summary: “What up, I’m Mammon, I’m well over 5000, and I never fucking learned how to read.”There's nothing else to say here- it's just a collection of vines that the OM! boys have corrupted.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 49





	Vines, Demon Style

1.

“Mammon, could you read number 23 for the class?”

“No, I cannot,” Mammon answered promptly. A voiceover begins.

 _“What up, I’m Mammon, I’m well over 5000, and I never fucking learned how to read._ ”

-

2.

Diavolo and Lucifer were sitting in the hot tub one afternoon. Lucifer looked rather uncomfortable.

“Two bros, chilling in the hot tub, five feet apart cuz’ they’re not gay-”

“ _MAMMOOOOOON-!_ ”

-

3.

“Satan! Is that a weed?”

“No, this is a bookmark-”

“I’m calling the police!”

Levi runs over to the microwave and starts pressing buttons.

“ _666, who are we throwing in the lava lake today?_ ”

Satan drops his book on the ground and leaves the room.

-

4.

A video opens to Belphegor sitting in front of a camera, holding a pillow. 

“We all die, you either kill yourself or get killed.”

“Belphie, no-”

The video cuts to Belphie breakdancing on the pillow with a voiceover of someone repeating ‘ _whatcha gon’ do_ ’ to the sound of beatboxing. 

In the corner, Beel sighs.

-

5.

Lucifer is explaining how he makes his cocktails.

“...two shots of vodka-”

“...”

“...”

“...Lucifer, I think that’s more than two-”

-

6.

Satan is standing next to an electric keyboard wearing dark shades with synth music playing in the background.

“Is there anything better than pussy?” he asks with a blank face. “Yes- a really good book.”

He hits a key on the electric keyboard and a loud chord joins the music, face still expressionless as he bobs his head up and down.

-

7.

“Hey, how much money do you have?” 

“I don’t know, like 69 cents?”

“Oh-” Asmo grins. “You know what that means...”

Beel tears up. “I don’t have enough money for chicken nuggets-”

-

8.

Levi appears on the screen.

“Hey everybody, today my brother pushed me, so I’m starting a Kickstarter to put him down-”

The video begins to display photos of Mammon. 

“The benefits of killing him is I would be pushed way less-"

-

9.

“ _DON’T FUCK WITH ME!_ ” Levi cried as he held his Ruri-chan body pillow out in front of him like a sword. “ _I HAVE THE POWER OF GOD_ AND _ANIME ON MY SIDE!_ ”

“Levi-”

“ _RRAAAAGHHHH!!!_ ”

-

10.

“-and they were roommates,” a passing demon said to his friend.

“Oh my god, they were roommates,” muttered Solomon. 

“What?” asked Simeon.

“Nothing.”

**Author's Note:**

> Well, thanks for reading this cursed thing I guess


End file.
